A Celebration Of All Things 'Douchey'.

by Carmen Cruz

We've all seen it, heard it or experienced it first-hand before. Douchey situations and yes, Douchey people.

Here's a list of my many experiences with Douche-ness. I'm sure many of you will be able to relate.

~ You're in a long line up at...lets say... Tim Hortons, and the person directly in front of you is groaning and complaining (loudly and dramatically) about the person ordering at the till, taking their sweet ass time. The complaints continue until the person in front of you is just one person away from the cashier. Finally, when they get up to the front, these a$$holes have no idea what they're going to order, and hold up the line for 10 minutes while they mull over the insanely complex Timmy Ho's menu.

~ That pink liquid soap that you'll find in most bathrooms in offices, schools, fitness centers, etc. You know what I'm talking about... that pink soap you pump into your hands, try to get a lather going, and...Nada. To the Douche-y manufacturers of this pink goo - You're not fooling anyone.

~ There's nothing I detest more than standing at the pharmacy counter, chatting with your pharmacist, and the person in line behind you is standing so close that they can pretty much hear your entire conversation. Hey Douche, ever heard of a thing called Privacy and Personal Space? 

~ You're driving along and see some poor bugger signaling to get into your lane. No one is letting him/her in. You decide to slow down and kindly let the person into your lane. They pull in front of you and don't even give you 'the wave'.
Major Douche!!! 

~ The Gym Douche - The girl who's got the make up on, her hair down, her hoop earrings dangling and her tightest workout gear on. Is she breaking a sweat? Nope. (I end up working out next to this girl at least 2 times a week. It's the same girl. I'm sweating and snorting like a beast, while she's chatting away on her blackberry, barely moving on her cardio machine). The male equivalent is the dude who wears the designer t-shirts, long chain necklaces and toques to the gym. A toque? Really? It's not THAT cold in the gym.

Chick Races Friend Wearing High Heels - Watch More Funny Videos

~ GLEE. I've tried watching it. I've genuinely tried to understand the lure of it. Honestly? It's kinda cheesy with just a hint of douchey-ness (my brother-in-law would not be happy to hear me say this).

~ Chelsea Handler. I'm all for sarcastic humour, but this woman takes it to a whole new level. It's like she's got permanent PMS.

That is all. ;)