A) I was running through some bushes on the way to (insert destination here) and, well... this is what happened.
B) I'm running low on cash and this is the best I've got. Times are tough, you know.
C) I need to trim my toenails. Desperately.
And another thing. I think the hipster trend is getting dangerously close to becoming the homeless trend. I know you're trying to look casually unkempt but it's getting to the point where you're starting to look like you live on the street. For realzies. The other day, I actually couldn't tell if the person walking across the street was a hipster or a hobo. True story. This kinda reminds me of the movie Zoolander where they came up with the homeless-looking fashion line called Derelict. Personally, I believe that this dirty hipster look can derelict my...
I'm getting off my soapbox now.